Once More
by Jaffen's Girl
Summary: Sequel to Just This Once- You really should read Just This Once before you read this story.


**Once More**

Written by Jaffen's Girl

**ADULT CONTENT**

Sequel to _Just This Once_- You really should read _Just This Once_ before you read this story.

Warning: **Not beta read**… sorry :-( And my techno-babble holds no merit.

POV is switched in the story Janeway-Narrator-Janeway

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. If they were...

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It has been a year since Kashyk abducted Lieutenant Ayala and me and my actions caused a reaction that I am not ready to deal with; even now. Every day since we've returned to duty I have been aware of him- to say the least: I feel the weight of his body whenever he is close to me, I can smell his after shave as if it was on my face, my lips tingle when he talks to me and worst of all his touch even accidental has the potential of rendering me breathless and incoherent. It's ridiculous, I know that I should be over our encounter by now, it was a once in a lifetime fling, nothing more- I just wish I could believe that. Every day the urge to be with him again gets stronger and every night gets longer as I lie awake remembering how he felt. I have resorted to looking away when he speaks to me and avoiding all chances of being alone with him hoping that I can eventually break this spell that handsome man has over me.

Ayala has been wonderful about our situation. In the beginning I could tell that he wanted to talk but he soon fell into step and distanced himself from me. I believed it was because he was fine with the terms of our arrangement but I discovered that wasn't the case and that he has been dealing with it in his own way.

He hand wrote me a letter five months ago, telling me he dreamt about me. In his dream I wasn't able to avoid him and he was able to tell me how I made him feel.

It read:

"_I stand on your bridge every day and watch you be amazing. You are fearless Kathryn and I admire you for it. I vowed to take your plan as far as it would go because I trust you. Even though I have had a difficult six months and fifteen days, I trust that you know what's best for us. The worst part about having the most amazing adventure of my life is not being able to share it with anyone- not even with the only other person who was there. I am counting the days marking each one as an accomplishment because- every day I stand on your bridge and watch you be amazing- and I know more then anyone else how amazing you really are_."

The letter upset me. I wish that our _adventure_ was as meaningless as it was meant to be. If that were so I'd be able to look him in the eyes and discuss it with him but I haven't been able to confess- Ayala is amazing too.

"Report!"

"It isn't pretty Captain," Tom Paris groaned.

"I can see that. What's going on?"

"We have gotten wedged into some sort of spatial distortion. It's tearing the ships systems apart." Harry answered.

"Torres to the bridge"

"Go ahead B'Elanna, give me some good news."

"I found a way to get us out of this but it requires a major upgrade."

"Well?"

"The micro-synthesizers need to be realigned to counter act the harmonics of the field."

"Alright get to it Lieutenant."

"Captain, I need a hand we are buried down here. Not many people can handle the realignment."

"Why not it's easy enough?"

"Yeah, if you know what you're doing." Torres said simply.

"Alright I'll go. Commander you have the bridge."

Janeway grabbed the equipment she needed and hurried towards the Jeffries Tubes. Once there she worked diligently. Most of the alignment had been completed but it was difficult to work through the bumps, she spent more time searching for equipment after being thrown around the Jeffries tube.

"Captain, how's it coming? We are loosing shields."

"Chakotay I could use a hand up here."

"Captain we are running short as is, Harry-"

"Anyone will do, just one more set of hands and this will go much quicker."

"Alright I'll see who I can spare."

Moments passed before she heard someone moving up the ladder.

"Ayala?" she said surprised. "They sent the largest man on the bridge to crawl around the smallest space on the ship?"

"Everyone else was busier then me I guess; I actually put up a small fight I can't fix a broken latch on this ship." He spoke softly and Kathryn noticed that he looked nervous.

"Its alright I'll walk you through it. I need a hand with this part it is very tedious but easy enough. Grab your Ricky Modulator we need to reconfigure the coils in this row to these specifications." She showed him the PADD. "I'll start at the other end and we can meet in the middle."

Janeway moved to the end of the tube and started to reconfigure.

"Captain I'm sorry I think I am doing this wrong."

She crawled over to Ayala which was unfortunate; she wanted to be as far away from him as she could. The smell his freshly shaved face brought her back- _she could feel his body pressing her into the floor of Kashyk's shuttle_. She watched him fumble with the coil.

"Hold it like this." She demonstrated with another coil and he mimicked her "good, now turn the gauge counter clock wise." He did as he was told "It should click into place."

The coil wasn't clicking. She reached across Ayala, her shoulders dug into his chest. "It's unconnected in the back reach behind it and pull the wire towards me, it should snap in."

He pushed past her briefly smelling her hair "It doesn't help that my hands are so big." Frustrated he wrestled with the electrical equipment.

"You're a big guy." She spoke without thinking.

"Yeah you've mentioned that." Ayala never took his eyes off of the coil but he could feel Janeway staring at him. "Wh- when I came in just now, ah not the time-" He decided talking wasn't in his best interest so he stopped and snapped the wire in place.

"Good now try to reconfigure it again." She ignored the tension in the air and tried desperately to hide the blush in her cheeks.

"It worked."

"Good" relieved, Janeway moved to the opposite side again.

"Chakotay to the Captain, how are you doing in there?"

"Fine Commander I need three minutes."

Janeway and Ayala rushed through the repairs meeting in the middle. They huddled together to finish the last two coils. Janeway hit her badge.

"Janeway to Torres the ailment is complete."

The ship brutally shook throwing Janeway on top of Ayala she paused for a moment unsurprisingly breathless and incoherent. The ship then began to spin throwing them into one another.

"Hold on to me!" Ayala yelled through the sound of engines seizing and metal clanging as the tools got thrown around as well.

Kathryn held toAyala. He encased her protecting her head and her face by burring it in his chest and she inhaled deeply remembering what it felt like to be held by him. The ship balanced out throwing Janeway and Ayala one final time.

She lay on top of him. He brushed his hand through her hair. "Are you alright?" he asked

"I haven't been right for almost a year." She confessed.

Ayala sat up, "Kathryn-"

"Comander Chakotay to Captain Janeway. Are you two ok?"

"We're fine Commander. What's our status?" Janeway sat up and moved away from her lieutenant.

"We've got a lot of cleaning to do but we aren't stuck anymore."

"Casualties?"

"Lots of bumps and bruises and a couple of broken limbs."

"Alright we're going to finish up here, Janeway out."

"Come on Lieutenant."Janeway snapped the panels in place and picked up her tools. Ayala didn't move he just sat blocking the exit.

She continued to crawl towards him until she realized he wasn't moving she then glared at him.

"Don't shut me out, please." He pleaded with her.

"Ayala I can't do this." She spoke sternly. She had a moment of weakness when he held her but now she was in control again.

"Do what?"

"This!"

"Talk to me?"

"Yes!"

He started to move and she was certain he was going to let her by instead he headed towards her.

"Ayala?" She sat back on her knees and waited for him to reach her. Her tone was warning him to think about what he was doing but it wasn't convincing.

He placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her close. Softly he kissed her. She returned his kiss deepening it until he slowly pulled away; she sat a moment with her eyes still closed absorbing the moisture and memorizing the feel of his strong lips.

Ayala moved to the side so that she could leave.

"I'm going to need a moment, if it's alright with you Captain." He was referring to his obvious arousal.

Kathryn just nodded she willed her self to go but her body wouldn't move.

"Captain?" Ayala looked concerned he thought maybe he'd crossed the line. "I'm-"

His apology was interrupted by Kathryn wrapping her arms around him and dragging him down on top of her. They kissed while trying frantically to feel the other person's skin. Kathryn unzipped his jacket and pulled his shirt up searching his chest with her hands. Ayala did the same pulling a breast from the cup of her bra he sucked on her nipple. He unfastened her pants dragging them to her knees removing one boot she was able to undress one leg and spread for him she unfastened his pants and held his large cock in her hands.

"Mmmm," she groaned with a slight twitch of her brow.

"Miss me?" he smirked at her, driving two fingers inside of her wet sex " I'll take that as a yes."

She pulled him down demanding his kiss and without warning he entered her moving quickly he pushed inside of her wrapping his arms around her he got as deep as he could and fucked her. She held on to him pulling on his clothes for leverage trying to keep him close to her. He pushed into her over and over. He sucked on her neck knowing it would drive her crazy she hollered and squirmed but he held her tightly and continued to push.

"Oh! Oh Yes!" she cried out, Ayala's lips left her neck and settled on her mouth.

When she came she threw her head back and moaned in his ear while running her hands through his thick hair.

Their release was bitter sweet. They both knew the euphoric feeling would only last for so long.

Ayala's breath was heavy but he held tight to Kathryn and continued to kiss her.

"Oh, Ayala." she heaved.

"I don't want to let you go." He confessed.

"You have to and so do I."

"I know."

He kissed her long and hard.

"Tell me one thing," He panted.

"What?"

"Do you miss me as much as I miss you?"

Kathryn knew the answer with out even having to think about it but she didn't know if she wanted to tell Ayala the truth. She moved away from him, dressed silently and exited the Jeffries tube. She stood and fixed her clothing and her hair. Ayala looked around there were crewmen hustling everywhere. He followed her to the turbolift once inside she commanded the lift and then turned to him.

"I do, but it doesn't matter."

"It matters." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear then he kissed her sweetly on the cheek. "It matters to me."

"Computer halt lift." She paused, distracted by the moisture of Ayala seed seeping from her sex and moistening her thighs. She took a deep breath and leaned back on to the wall of the lift. Ayala copied her.

"I appreciate you keeping this situation between us private. I haven't been willing to talk to you about it because I was afraid It would happen again- and it did." She gave him a small smile. "Ayala this can't continue."

"Computer resume lift," Ayala instructed. He smiled and leaned into her kissing her deeply- devouring her for only a moment then he slowly broke away from her. "Of course it can't," he lied.

We stood there in silence for about five seconds then the lift opened up onto the bridge. Ayala took his station pausing only briefly to look at me before getting to work. He knew damn well that I was still caught up in our last kiss he had timed it just right knowing precisely when the lift would open. My lips were still moist with his saliva I pressed them together savoring every last bit of him left behind.

I read once that "Just this once" was a dangerously disarming phrase made to persuade someone into compromising their principles. I persuaded my self because I foolishly believed I could indulge myself in the arms of an incredible man and then never allow myself again.*****

I am a fool.

I opened the door and ascended the staircase one false step to another, delusional to think that- that was the last time.*****

THE END

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** ***paragraph inspired by:

Just This Once, Richard L. Evans


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